August 21, 2009

ABC starts tomorrow [full on]

So here's the deal. Tomorrow I'm gonna go on a well needed fast. I've been at my dad's house all summer so it's been easy to stay on my diet because he and his girlfriend are always at work and no one is there to make me food. It's just me and my sister and it's really easy to focus like that. I can hear my mind yelling at me to put the food down over the sound of my aching stomach. I just fill up with water or tea and the hunger is gone. Ugh but I've been at my Nana's house for the past couple days for my sister's early birthday celebration and all she does is take us out to eat and buy more and more and more food! Gosh it's so hard to stay away from it with people offering me temping satisfaction. It's almost like they're handing me my own pain and self consciousness. I'm trying my hardest to find something leaner when we go out to eat but even then I can't stop myself. How weak can I get??? Anyways we went to Red Lobster today and I got a honey glazed chicken breast. Not my first choice but it was better compared to my sisters scallops and shrimp she dunked in oily butter every bite. Kind of disgusting. I ate a little but I mean I had to because of the damned cheese biscuit I had :/ then I boxed the rest up. I did okay but I still feel like I failed miserably. My hunger isn't a comfortable feeling but I know it means I'm beating my urges and I'm in sweet sweet control of my body. And when that feeling is gone.... I lose. Well like I said, tomorrow's a fast :) I'm determined to lose all I ate yesterday at the pool. It'll be easy because my Nana works tomorrow and again it'll just be me and my non-interested, computer addicted sister. It makes me sick how much he eats sometimes and shes younger than me!! I would say something to her but I've already rejected food so much that if I criticize her she might start to wonder. She already calls me an anorexic (in humor of course) and as secretly flattering as it feels, I can't afford to make her more suspicious than she already is. But tomorrow will be cool. I'm swimming laps because I love being wet and the whole pool environment too it's easy :) anyways WISH ME LUCK and don't forget to follow and tell your friends to as well cuz I need more inspiration and tips !!! LOL xoxo

**last night**:
-bullion cube
-asian noodle soup (split with my sister)

todays food log:
-chicken from Red Lobster
-root beer
-diet coke
-2 slices of provolone cheese

tomorrow: NOTHING ! <3

this will be an awesome start for ABC this week. My incentive is an allowance of maybe 700-900 (or less....{less is always good hehe}) at the end of the week on Friday. I'm aiming for one strong, solid week then a day to push it a litte and then another strong week.. and so on. And good luck to all you girls (and guys?) BE STRONG and imagine your perfect figure. Only thing in your way? Fucking food.. so stay away from it haha. Don't give up what you want TOMORROW for what you want RIGHT NOW.

I'm searching for good thinspo vids on youtube that I'll be sure to post tonighttt

haha & i know this is already such a long post but yeah. we went shopping today and although I hate being around all the temping choices, I overcame it and picked really good choices. I got smart choice popcorn (for the day after tomorrow) it only has 100 cals a bag. They're mini bags but I don't need that much anywaysss so thats goood. Also we got like 5780395 bottles of waterr! always gooood (: okay thats all.

1 comment:

  1. I love long posts. It sounds like you're going to be doing really well here soon, and you weren't even doing badly before. Stay strong! Much ana-love.