Still On My Game

I know it's been awhile but, unlike all the other times I leave for a ahwhile, I've been doing better than ever. Ana's been kinda quite recently but shes still that conscious little voice in the back of my head telling me what and when to eat. Maybe its better this way. It like shes hard-wired into my brain rather than stressing me out daily. I'm not so worried about what I eat lately. It's just been second nature. I must admit I haven't been counting calories, but I really don't need to. You see, I was counting calories on unhealthy foods that I wanted and were within my certain calorie limit for the day but most of the foods that I wanted were horrible, fat-infested foods that, by the grace of God, were somehow reasonable under 500 calories of so. So now what? Well, I've talked to my mom about wanting to go on a healthy diet. Me and my sister picked out a full cart-full of nothing but heathy foods. Veggies, fruits, low-fat yogurts, salad and low fat dressings, etc. Now I can eat a little more but I'm losing weight better than ever and I've been sticking to it for weeks now. I eat something really small about every 3 hours (i try to prolong it) but then I have to work out for at least an hour everyday. For example, today. I got up around 10:00am and had breakfast around 10:30am (small bowl of cereal), then went for a high-energy, hour long walk all around my neighborhood. then ate again at 1:30pm (banana), and I'm going to eat again around 4:30 maybe 5:00 just so that I dont eat my last meal of the day too late you know? because i don't eat after 6:00 and my next chance to eat would be around 7:30.

The key is to eat in moderation. You eat very little servings of HEALTHY, LOW SUGAR, FAT FREE/LOW FAT (key word: healhy) foods every few hours. I'm not really gonna starve anymore. Thats kinda pointless. All it does is lower your metabolism so that every time you binge or ANYTHING, your body will show it because your metabolism wont take care of it. Food is almost like insurance, if you will. You pay money every once in a while and its gonna be there for you when something bad happens. Food speeds up your metabolism and if you don't eat too much it'll be just enough to burn away any food you already ate. I know its really confusing but not eating gets me nowhere. It works so well for me :) I even saw 131.5 recently and still losing!!

Wish Me Luck and always STAY STRONG skinnies♥ xoxo
-Olivia

Sooo...

I got really sick yesterday, mid-day. I think its because I was a little too close to my sister than I should have been. She was sick in the morning but, bless her heart, she came to school anyways. I was feeling really sick later that day and I both of us called in sick from school today. We were both just really nauseous and weak. The one thing I LOVE about nausea, as all of you know, It makes you loathe the very thought of food. I havent eaten a scrap of food all day :) also, i didn't eat anything after like 6 yesterday so i'm feeling very empty and loving it ! I don't plan on eating anything tomorrow either. Mostly because I'm tanning with my boyfriend and who wants to look at a bloated-bellied girlfriend..... no one. However, I think I'm spending the night at his house so I'm most likely gonna end up eating. I'll try to resist until dinner when ill undoubtabley be forced to eat. Ill just pick at it until everyone else is done. Sounds good. I love the feeling of food as the enemy and that's what its been like for the past 24 hours :) ughhh im still kinda sick and i reallllly dont feel like typing right now so i'll give a more detailed post tomorrow. All im having til after school tomorrow it waterr ! wish me luck !
stay strong and think thin<3
xoxo
Olivia

Slackinnn...Kinda.

So yeah. Of course its not a surprise that I didn't stick to ABC during spring break like I promised myself I would. Although, I should have known that I would fuck up at least ONCE with the people I was around. However, either I didn't screw up as bad as I thought, or my old scale was a piece of shiiiit. You see, I ate pretty much normally during the past week. I only slept at my own house only once during the break.. Can you believe that?! It was great to be away from home; Away from my mother and her horrid parenting. How lovely the atmosphere was. I mostly stayed with my boyfriend, my Nana, my sister and my bestfriend. The people that I love the most... also happen to be the people that EAT the most. joyyyy. anyways when I say I ate normally that pretty much just means I didn't go over the top. Even when I started eating wayyy more that ABC would ever allow im prettty sure I never exceeded 1500-2000 calories. Plus I got tons of excercising done being outdoors. playing basketball and other sports with my boyfriend as well as going on long walks and exploring woods with him :) fun fun fun chomp chomp chomp fat fat FAT ! i got a battery for my digital scale during break and first thing I did when I got home is set it and hopped right on. Im kinda glad my old scale was a piece of shit because now I can appreciate my REAL weight which is ***drumroll please***........134.5 :) yay me! not an awesome weight for me but I'm happy that I've maintained that through all my gluttony the past week. Now that I'm actually starting ABC again, I can lose a buncha pounds and hopefully be at most, 130 by the end of the coming week. 130 ! Thats only 10 pounds from 120 which is my first ultimate goal. Not saying 10 pounds isnt alot but 140 was just ridiculous and I've already lost 5.5 pounds since I got serious about losing this horrible weight. GREAT SUMMER BOD: HERE I COME :)))) i hope... wish my luck. no school tomorrow so I hope to stay under 500, then PE on tuesday so nothing but lunch at school for energy, then nothing elseee for the rest of the day. Then I'll just do ABC about every other day (skipping days I have PE for just school lunch). Sounds good to me. I havent eaten anything much today so maybe a bowl of something soft like oatmeal (you know. something easy for my body to break down) then obviously a walk with my sister on this BEAUTIFUL EASTER DAY :) GOD BLESS! Haappy Easter everyone !

PS. Thanks MOM for calling me a selfish bitch and saying "fuck you" to me this morning and almost ruining my day ! Good thing I have self-respect enough to not let you :) JUST WAIT til my 18th birthday next yearrr. You wont even see me that day. You'll never see me again :) LOVEEE YOUUUU...not. (sorrrry for the vent. trust me, it was necessary and made me feel a lot better!)

Much love Ana's
Oliviaaa(: